your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
