when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
