Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
