Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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