I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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