I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sext me about skeletons
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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