I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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