He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
