i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
