Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
