see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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