it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize