If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
