is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
