You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
