I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Fuck appropriateness.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
