this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
