I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
