yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
