He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
