when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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