So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
