he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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