Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
