i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
