I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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