hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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