She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
