If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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