They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Farmville is her only friend.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
