One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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