Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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