i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
