i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
