I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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