what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
