I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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