I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
