My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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