I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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