Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
