What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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