the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize