He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
