oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
