Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
