she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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