We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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