he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
