My nipple is on Facebook.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
