Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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