That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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