God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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