they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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