I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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