well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
