My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my phone needs a breathalizer
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
