You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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