No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
