can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
