I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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